Is there a script doctor in the house to fix `Nip/Tuck' plots?
By Amy Amatangelo

Give ``Nip/Tuck'' an IV of character development and 20 cc's of sensible plots. Stat!

On the surface, FX's ``Nip/Tuck,'' which ends its first season tonight at 10, appears to be an arresting, over-the-top series. But peel back the layers, and all that's left are empty plot lines and inconsistent characters.

For 12 roller-coaster episodes, the series has followed the personal and professional lives of Miami plastic surgeons Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) and Dr. Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh).

McMahon, whose biggest role before this was Alyssa Milano's demon husband on ``Charmed,'' is positively mesmerizing. But no matter how compelling his performance, it's hard to ignore the series' constant break from any semblance of reality.

In tonight's episode, the boys have gotten themselves into quite a pickle with drug lord Escobar Gallardo (Robert LaSardo). Gallardo, ever the criminal mastermind, has taken to smuggling heroin into the United States via breast implants. The fearful docs play along until Gallardo wants them to start harvesting organs. Nice to know the not-so-good doctors have their limits.

Creator Ryan Murphy, who wrote and directed this episode, brings back some of the series' most fun characters. Slimy Dr. Merril Bobolit (Joey Slotnick) finally gets his comeuppance. A paternity plot line that fans have been speculating about since episode one moves further along but remains unresolved.

Strangely missing from most of the finale is Sean and Julia's son, Matt (John Hensley). Thanks to a teenage threesome, a drug-induced hit-and-run and a case of venereal disease courtesy of a porn star, Matt has created more havoc than his parents this season. So perhaps it's not a bad thing that he sits this episode out.

Murphy's often scandalous plots stumble along an artificially accelerated timeline, leaving the shallow characters riddled with inconsistencies.

Sean's fragile wife, Julia (Joely Richardson), shares a romantic past with Christian. Christian and Julia have danced around each other all season. They've flirted, verbally sparred and even kissed. After their passionate smooch, a vengeful Julia told Christian that she was thinking of her sexy classmate Jude (Phillip Rhys) the whole time. So when a suddenly comforting Julia tells a heartbroken Christian, ``We're your family and you're ours,'' it makes absolutely no sense. The final shot of the big, happy family eating dinner is laughably false.

``Nip/Tuck'' can be campy, sudsy fun, but it's too often reminiscent of the final seasons of ``Melrose Place,'' in which viewers could see the deteriorating series collapsing on itself. Let's hope the show uses its hiatus to slow down and get some work done.